They said this is what I always wanted
But why does it feel like I’m losing a part of me?
With every step up the ladder
Why does it only get lonelier

Sekarang Aing di level yang dulu Aing kejar
Dream came true, but it hits a bit harder
Semua target centang, semua angka aman
But deep inside, Aing ngerasa tenggelam
Everyday pressure, no room for mistake
Senyum jadi fake, demi image yang they take
Dulu capeknya real, tapi masih bisa kеtawa
Now it’s silent pain, gak semua bisa dibaca

Is this the lifе I’ve been praying to find?
Or just a cage that’s been messing my mind?
The more I become who I’m destined to be
The further I drift from the one who was free

I’ve become the best version of me
But I’m slowly dying internally
Everything I chased until I was blind
Now feels like a tragedy left behind
If I could just turn back the hands of time
To a struggle that felt more like a climb
Not without scars, not without pain
But at least I wasn’t living in vain

They don’t see the scars, they just see the role
Expect perfection, but ignoring the soul
Dihina halus, yeah passive attack
Depan support, belakang they stab my back
“Be professional”, yeah Ah-ing ngerti itu
But respect basic aja kadang gak berlaku
Kalau ini price dari semua ambition
Why it feels like a slow destruction?

Aing inget dulu, belum punya apa-apa
Tapi tiap langkah masih kerasa ada makna
Sekarang semua ada, tapi rasa hilang
Kayak hidup jalan tapi jiwa ketinggalan
Every meeting feels like a silent war
Gak ada yang jujur, cuma adu ego dan skor
Capek bukan di badan, tapi di kepala
Overthinking jadi teman tiap malam tiba

Maybe I stayed in the shadows too long
In a place where I never truly belong
Trying to prove that I’m built to survive
While losing the part that makes me alive

I’ve become the best version of me
But I’m slowly dying internally
Everything I chased until I was blind
Now feels like a tragedy left behind
If I could just turn back the hands of time
To a struggle that felt more like a climb
Not without scars, not without pain
But at least I wasn’t living in vain

I miss the old days when the struggle felt so real and so kind
No fake smiles and no hidden enemies left to find
They said this is growth but why does it feel like decay?
They said this is success but why have I lost my way?

I’ve become the best version of me
But I’m losing pieces silently
Everything I chased until I was blind
Now feels like a tragedy left behind
If this is the price for the crown and the win
Then maybe I’d rather just start again
From the very first line
In a place that is more human inside

Maybe
It’s not that I wasn’t strong enough
It’s just
I’ve been growing in the wrong soil for too long